Dreaming Again

Last night I dreamt I got married. Or that I was getting married. I don't remember the whole thing though, just bits and pieces-lots of visuals.

It was rushed, all of a sudden, and I didn't know why at first. I dug and dug and dug through my mothers closet (she was living at my house again, apparently), coming up with a long white skirt which was "just going to have to do." I put it on but I couldn't find a white shirt. So I wandered around in a long white skirt and my bra with my hair pinned to my head. There were a lot of people in my house, and the building itself felt bigger, my mother, however, was not there (although you could sense she was living in the house...the furniture and things). My mothers friend, my "Auntie" Fae, was there though-I have a clear image of her face and her wild mane of curly hair in obstructing my vision. I also remember trying very hard to do her hair...although it proved impossible. Eventually I found a lacey white shirt, I can still see it clearly on the hanger but I don't remember ever putting it on or seeing it on myself-after that I was wearing a shirt though.

Suddenly I remember I have a driving lesson booked, probably for today. I panick because if you cancel you get charged extra. I wait by the window for that turcoise care to back in. Everyone is gone the house is empty and small. Eventually he pulls in and I have to rush out and tell him that I cannot have the lesson today as I'm getting married. He says it's alright and that he will try to get the fees wavered but that he can't promise anything. My dad isn't very happy about having to pay. Part of the ceremony is happening now. In my living room. But soldiers interupt. My fiance is being called off to war. This is why the wedding was rushed, how could I not have seen that before. I have a vision and know my fiance will die before I ever see him again. I sob uncontrollably. (I don't recognize the man, and I cannot remember his face). A motherly woman, who is not my mother (possibly his) tries to get my to calm down because we must finish the ceremony before my to be husbands impending departure. She says I must for my son. All of a sudden I am aware that I have a child, all the memories suddenly pop into my head. If you had asked me seconds before in the dreams I would not have known. I cannot decifer if the child is a boy or girl, although the woman called it my son.

I am on the pier with my fiance. I look normal, but I think I am pregnant. I am explaining to him that I don't believe we have to get married just because I am pregnant. He will not take no as an answer so I leave him.

I am back in the living room. I feel as though I have been drugged just to go through with the ceremony. My husband is gone. I am sobbing again. Then my friend is there, in a tux (I won't say his name) but his image is slightly transparent...as though he is not actually there. He can't hear me. No one else appears to be able to see him. I am informed that he and I will be getting married.

I am in a car, with the motherly woman again. She acts like my mother but she looks nothing like her. My long white skirt is now black. I can't remember it changing but I am aware it has been black for a while. I ask where we are, and where we are going. I panick a little, aren't I supposed to be getting married today? I ask. No, she says. That's going to be next week. I see my friend in the tux again. Then I wake up.

Last week I dreamt I had a baby. All very eerie.