Unwritten

When she sits down to write, she pauses, taking a breath and trying to focus. Ideas start to form, creating images on the blank page in front of her. Depictions of storylines and charaters dance before her, but it's a game. As she reaches out to to grab one of the visions, it disappears. She watches in desperation as the others also start to slip and fade away. She grows frantic, stretcing out both hands, closing them around nothing but empty air. The ideas run away, like playful children, and her heart creeps into her throat as those fabulous images retract and return to their original state: straight blue lines that cross the blank piece of paper.

Her vision starts to blur as she stares at the same piece of paper, so she crumples it up and tosses it aside, only to find another blank sheet laying under it. She starts to feel as though she has hit the bottom of the sea and she is not strong enough to resurface. She battles with the urge to blame herself for the loss of those ideas, for the lack of inspiration. She puts her pen down and folds her arms across her chest, leaning back in her chair. The cold skin on her hands shocks her and reaches for her hot tea to warm them. Her fingers flush red as the blood returns to them and she pulls a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. Making a mental note to pick up more, she puts the last one to her lips, sparking a match with her free hands. She inhales, a comfortable feeling creeping over her. The smoke reaches out and relaxes her shoulders and posture, casting aside the tense atmosphere that ruled the room moments before. Her cell phone rings in the distance but she cannot be bothered to pay it any attention.

When the cigarette is reduced to nothing but ashes, she finds herself back where she started, staring at a blank piece of paper. The smoke is replaced by guilt as she closes the notebook, shutting out the possibility of ever seeing those dancing ideas again. She takes a sip of her tea but it has grown cold. She spits it out and pours the rest down the sink, watching it spiral down the drain until it is completely gone.