part II

When I decided to leave that cat in the box I forgot one key thing: Cat's don't like being stuck in boxes-they will mostly likely make their own escape.

I never walked down the street to the cross roads, I never even asked him to meet me there. It was just a fantasy, the fantasy of what I should have done but was to chicken to actually carry through with.

I met a guy at work, we get along like peanut butter and jelly. He is tall, dark and handsome; not to mention the biggest dork you've ever met. When we hang out, all we do is laugh. He goes to Camosun and I go to UVic and so, lately he has been busing to UVic on a friday and waiting for my class to get out. Day 1-we got bubble tea in china town and he taught me how to eat lychee nuts. Day 2-we found a "wild" cafe with drift wood chairs and "white coffee" tucked away in a little corner of Victoria. Day 3-we were assaulted by an overly talkative drunk lady on the bus and I climbed on the back of his ATV and went quading. He was all that I was thinking about as I bused from his house back to Sidney. I was under the impression that tonights "party" at Donny's was going to be extremely lame.

"What do you mean you aren't drinking?!" Donny asked as he held the front door open for me. I explained for a third time: I have to work tomorrow, I don't have any booze and my dad is picking me up in four hours. Donny ignored the most important bits, "I'm sure you could pawn some booze off of me once I have had a few!" he winks at the end and turns to walk into his house, leaving me with a pile of shoes. I slip off my boots and check my reflection in the mirror, my new jeans look good and my hair is falling right into place. I followed the same path Donny took, and enter the main room-everybody looks up but I look for and see his blue eyes first. He smiles. I feel like there is more to his smile, we haven't seen each other in a while and I sense it in his smile. I tear my eyes away and head for the kitchen, where there is food every where. I lay out my contribution to the potluck and turn back to the party, still disinterested and my mind wanders to TallDark&Handsome.

The night goes by slowly. Our bellies are full and we have a couple of poker games under our belt so we meander to the deck and light a fire in the stove. BlueEyes is becoming a social butterfly, flitting from place to place, person to person; I used to assume this behaviour was about me, I thought I was being avoided and in a way I am. He never pays much mind to me in a group setting, maybe it's because we are both being butterflies, maybe it is because he sees enough of me outside of the group, it doesn't matter because it doesn't bother me anymore. I can get his attention if I need it. So I did. When Mitch offered a joint I quietly accepted and headed down the steps as non-chalant as I could. Usually I refuse if BlueEyes is there because I'm afraid of his judement, but I had buried that cat in that box and I had TallDark&Handsome on my mind. I wanted BlueEyes to know that I didn't care anymore. If he noticed me leaving, he didn't react but when I walked back up those stairs, our eyes met and I was pretty sure my message was coming through.

As a result of my rebellious inhalation I was neither thinking straight nor measuring when I snuck into the kitchen and mixed myself a jager meister and coke. I love jager but jager doesn't really love me. A couple shots later Donny caught onto my less then sober behaviour, not that he was a perfect example, and I blamed it on the weed. Then I casually asked him if I could have a few shots of jager and he agreed happily. And then everything was great. I was texting and flirting with TallDark&Handsome and I wasn't drunk enough for the drunker people to notice. Mitch and Travis hotboxed the empty hot tub and Sam gave me another speech about how I'd fine love eventually. This time I laughed.

tbc
(the good part is coming, this happened last night if ya want some context!)